Samoan Golf

I played my third round of golf in Samoa yesterday (and shot an 82!). I thought I'd outline some things that differentiate Samoan golf from its American counterpart:

• In America, the starter might be playing solitaire on a computer; in Samoa, the starter is always playing solitaire with a physical deck of cards.
• There is no rough in Samoa.
• There are also no fairways.
• In America, greens are green; in Samoa, greens can be brown or tan (with some green splotches).
• I have seen Samoan golfers using wooden drivers
• In America, you may move your ball a club length if it comes to rest in the cart path; in Samoa, you don't have cart paths, but your ball might come to rest on a lava rock in the middle of the (would be) fairway
• In America, golf courses have sand traps; in Samoa, most of the sand has been stolen from the sand traps
• In America, a max of 4 people are allowed in a group; in Samoa, 7-somes are common (in fact, I've had a 5-some ask my twosome whether I wanted to join them).
• Those 7-somes in carts will play through a solo golfer walking.
• Holes #13 and 14 on the Samoan course turn into soccer and rugby fields in the late afternoon.
• In America, people get pissed off if you hit into them; in Samoa, soccer players will not move out of the way for you--they are fine with you hitting at them while they are playing.
• In Samoa, someone asked me to teach their son to play golf (In America, someone might ask me to show their son how NOT to swing)
• In America, dogs are not allowed on the golf course; in Samoa, you may encounter wild dogs while golfing.
• In America, there are cart girls driving who sell refreshments; in Samoa, there is an older lady with a banana stand next to the third tee box.

But there is one area where Samoa has a distinct advantage: 18 holes costs $5!